Businesses trying to force their remote workers to return to office positions are the worst. But we’ll get to that.
Picture it. End of March, 2024. Spring is in the air. Birds are chirping, flowers are flowering, and trees are starting to blossom into pink and white visions of beauty.
Cue kidney stone.
Never had a kidney stone? Well yay for you. For roughly 9% of women and 11% of men, kidney stones are something we’ll unfortunately experience. I’ve personally had three of them in my life, and number three decided to make an appearance in the month before I was set to move. Great timing.
More Than Just Back Pain
Anyone who has had a stone will know the dread of any kind of back/side pain that just starts out of the blue. Maybe you pulled a muscle. Maybe you worked your abs especially hard and your obliques are sore. Maybe it’s just a random, unexplained pain as all poor souls over 30 start to get. If you’ve had a stone before, though, your heart practically stops the moment that pain begins.
“Holy crap. It could be another stone.” The absolute stress and terror that washes over you at the very thought that you’re going to have to go through another hellish, painful experience…it is pure dread amplified by a million.
Often, this impromptu back/side pain really is the result of random muscle pain, workout soreness or daring to be over 30. You breathe a sigh of relief, thank your lucky stars, and move on with your life.
Except sometimes, it really is another kidney stone.
I had all of these thoughts Sunday night, March 31st as my side began to hurt in a horrifying familiar way. No. This was the worst timing. I was supposed to be moving in a few weeks and I needed to pack and clean and all the other wretched tasks that come with moving. Did my kidney care? Not a whit.
Kidney Stones and So Much Vomit
Here’s some things to know about kidney stones, for those of you who are uninitiated:
- They hurt. A lot.
- Nothing makes them stop hurting.
- Cue the vomit.
There’s actually a nerve in your ureter that can make you extremely nauseated when a kidney stone gets stuck there. For me, personally, that’s one of my worst responses besides the pain. Just puking, puking, and more puking. Lovely, right? The end result is dehydration, fatigue, unhealthy weight loss and getting really tired of puking. As one does.
The ONLY thing that helps me with a kidney stone is a hot bath. From March 31st through April 4th, I was in the bath as much as I possibly could be. I literally slept in the bathtub at night. Every night. I was mildly concerned about falling asleep and drowning, but when you feel like I did, you kinda stop caring. Plus, if I drowned, I wouldn’t have to deal with the stress of moving! Win-win.
I Deserve A Medal
I’ll spare you all the boring details of that horrendous week. I’d had kidney stones before. I knew what I was in for and that going to the ER never ever helped me in the past. I just figured I’d wait it out in the tub and get increasingly pruney until I became a human raisin.
I also drank an obscene amount of apple cider vinegar to try to break up the stone, and when I could I jumped up and down to try to dislodge it, which I do not recommend and it did not work. I did call my doctor, who recommended an ultrasound to confirm the stone. Crap. That meant moving my body and going places. The last thing anyone wants to do with a stone.
My poor husband took the day off work to take me for the scan. I had to bring my little garbage can to puke in, but somehow, I really don’t know how, I managed not to.
I was supposed to have a full bladder for the ultrasound but my preparatory attempts to drink water at home had ended up violently rejected. Repeatedly. They would have to deal with my empty bladder.
I clutched my garbage can the entire time I was scanned. The inhuman effort not to throw up and traumatize the poor technician should have earned me a medal. I succeeded. From there, we went to urgent care to get some desperately needed anti-nausea meds. During that appointment, they were able to access my ultrasound results, already.
“You need to go to the ER,” they told me.
I had a 6 mm kidney stone that was blocking my ureter and I may need emergency surgery. I tried to cry but I was so dehydrated no tears came out.
Back to the hospital.
5 Freaking Weeks
Long story short, 8 hours of waiting around in some medical facility or another led to me FINALLY being given actual medication for my pain (thank you morphine!), nausea meds that actually worked, and several bags of IV fluids. The ER doctor decided I should try a little longer to avoid surgery and I agreed. Home I went, feeling better on these meds than I had all week.
My pain was still there on and off but it was much improved and I finally wasn’t throwing up anymore. By the way, that entire day at the hospital I didn’t puke. It took every single ounce of will I had, but I really didn’t want to traumatize all the other poor souls in the waiting room. You’re welcome people.
Anyway, the pain was feeling a lot better but then it did something weird. It changed.
Stuck Stuck Stuck
My pelvis had so much pressure and discomfort it felt like I was going to explode. When I tried to urinate, barely anything came out. I was in constant pain and discomfort and though it wasn’t as bad as the previous pain, it was very unfun.
Turns out my stone had moved down the ureter and was stuck at the entrance of my bladder, blocking it completely.
This lasted for 5 weeks. Five. Freaking. WEEKS.
The move got delayed, which cost us thousands thanks to needing to rent in our current place longer. I could barely sleep. It felt like my bladder was going to rupture and nothing helped, not even morphine anymore. I was ragged and tired and so uncomfortable but I was desperately trying to avoid surgery since the stupid stone was almost out! If I could hold out, if I could just get it unstuck…I could dodge a rather unpleasant surgery that I simply didn’t want to do.
So I sucked it up. For 5 weeks.
Sometimes that awful nausea or the kidney pain would come back and I would feel defeated all over again. It just didn’t seem to ever end.
During this time, I somehow managed to pack. I just sucked it up and packed and tried to ignore the wretched discomfort and lack of the ability to urinate and all the other fun things I was experiencing.
I also worked. I’m a copywriter (you really should know that already), so I had the great privilege of working from home. I got my work done. I was able to take care of my health needs and I met all my deadlines. Guess what? That’s the entire point of this overly personal and ridiculously long post.
Chronic Health Conditions And The Return To Office
The push to needlessly make workers return to office positions when they have jobs that they could easily do from home is infuriating. Here’s why:
- It wastes workers’ time commuting and fighting traffic
- It’s bad for the environment to drive that much
- It saves workers’ money on the extra gas and wear and tear on their car
- It makes workers’ safer when they don’t have to drive (drivers are crazy!)
- It prevents in-office illness from making the rounds
- It enables people with chronic health conditions to work when they otherwise might not
That last one? I really feel that last one. If you think I could have gone into an office with a kidney stone stuck in my ureter for 5 weeks, you’re bananas. Driving with a stone is dangerous because you never know when pain will hit you like a brick to the face.
Feeling like you need to pee all the time meant I was always trying to urinate, usually unsuccessfully. Getting up and down from a desk to do that throughout the day would suck. Heating pads. I was always plugged into a heating pad. I doubt most offices would allow that.
Baths. I took a lot of baths. Last I checked, most offices don’t have bathtubs. A real shame too.
Morphine. Can’t drive to work when you’re on morphine.
Get the picture?
Working from home is important. It is a lifesaver for people with health problems. Kidney stones aren’t my only issue, either. I have severe endometriosis which can also require hot pads and baths when I least expect it. In fact, endometriosis is so debilitating for a huge number of women (and people assigned female at birth), that many of them regularly miss work from the pain. I’ve had both endo and kidney stone pain and sometimes endo can be even more painful. For many people, it happens every month too.
Being able to work from home, especially with flexible hours and the ability to take a bath or use a hot pad or just have permission to feel like garbage and not put on a fake, healthy front for your coworkers?
That’s huge.
For me, anyway, working from home means I can work. And I’m lucky. Most of the time I feel good. Most of the time I manage my problems with heavy duty meds that not everyone can tolerate. Most of the time I’m not in the midst of a 5-week kidney stone battle.
But what about people with chronic illnesses and disabilities that are always there? That are always making life difficult?
Chronic Health Conditions And Remote Work
Working from home is crucial. It. Means. Everything. Don’t take this invaluable independence away from those who need it most. Until you’ve had to live in a body that’s betraying you, until you’ve had to deal with physical pain that drops you in a heap, until you’ve had to live in a body that simply can’t do the things that other peoples can…you don’t understand what you’re taking away.
The ability to work is vital.
Even those with severe disabilities who manage to get disability payments from the government receive a laughable, insubstantial amount. Work needs to be more accessible. It’s something most of us simply have to do. Even when our bodies aren’t up to it.
Remote Work Is For Everyone
Putting the health factor aside, working from home should be an option for anyone who has a job position that allows it.
The economy sucks.
The job market sucks.
People who have been loyal to their jobs for years, decades even, have been getting laid off left and right. Often, unnecessarily, just so the company can save money or make some arbitrary financial goal. Inflation is out of control.
The housing market is so horrendous that many people may never be able to buy a house. Politics, global warming, wars, cost of living…it’s all just the absolute worst.
If you give any ounce of crap about your workers, even just a speck of human decency? Let them work from home, don’t push them to return to office. Life is absolute garbage these days. But being able to wear your jammies to work and pet your cat when you need a break and not fight dangerous and mind numbing traffic makes it suck just a little bit less. Considering the thin thread that most of us are hanging on by…sucking a little bit less is everything.